Body Check.
My self-session today began with a body scan, where I quickly encountered what seemed to be a physical trailhead: a load on my shoulders, a back-of-head headache, and weakness in my knees. As I was present to these sensations, a specific part emerged—one that felt antsy, nervous, and even a bit neurotic. This part has spent a lifetime being hyper-vigilant, monitoring the emotional states of others as a primary means of survival. My gut jerked in resistance as I explored the idea of an inner-focused locus of control (not outer), where I am no longer responsible for managing anyone’s emotions but my own. It seems that the weight on my shoulders was the burden of carrying other people’s emotions, while my weak knees feared what might happen if I stopped carrying it.
Engaging my “Little Guy” and Finding the Mountain
The work shifted as I encountered a little guy part—a part of me that felt his growth was stunted because he was too busy considering others. This part expressed a righteous anger toward the universe for the lack of nurturing he received, while he found comfort in an analogy expressed by my older, self-like part: “I am the mountain; they are the weather”. I then invited my mother’s presence into the session and she validated the little guy’s challenging experience as we both witnessed and apologized for it. I ended the session by tapping into some Self-energy, a firm foundation that can remain unmoved by shifting emotional states and thanking all my parts that partook and expressed themselves today.
These posts are personal reflections on my own n=1 experiment with IFS and somatic inquiry. They are shared for educational purposes and are not intended as medical or psychological advice.