Starting with Fatigue and the Tough Guy.
I began today’s partnered self-session with noticing physical fatigue and tension in my neck and shoulders. A few parts wanted to take the day off, sit back, and rest, alongside subtle anxiety about aging, work, and life direction. Soon after, my internal tough guy protector—a John Wayne part—stepped in, calling me weak for taking breaks while expressing worry that I would just lounge around if he dropped his guard. He carried a strong mandate to stay tough and protect me from feeling shamed.
Working with the Protector and Unburdening
As I engaged with this protector, he acknowledged that carrying this posture was exhausting. We recognized that much of his drive was a legacy burden, which catalyzed a process of getting about 70% of that rigid persona to step back and head off into the sunset. The remaining 30% admitted he was tired of performing toughness and actually wanted the freedom to be vulnerable and rest. With that protector softened, I was able to turn my attention to several activated exiles waiting in my childhood bedroom.
Connecting with Exiles and Closing
Inside my childhood bedroom, I spent quiet time sitting with parts holding shame, hurt, anxiety, and disappointment. We gathered together at the foot of the bed as if reading a children’s book, allowing these exiles to feel seen and appreciated. Both the exiles and the relaxed tough guy part were happy to share space and express a common desire for rest. I ended the session by exchanging thanks with all the parts involved, leaving my internal system feeling far more peaceful and integrated than when I had started.
These posts are personal reflections on my own n=1 experiment with IFS and somatic inquiry. They are shared for educational purposes and are not intended as medical or psychological advice.