Arriving in My Body and Meeting some Initial Parts.
I began today’s session by initially noticing some anger, fear, and irritation. Then following a body scan, I noticed some physical manifestations in my head, neck, shoulders, and arms, while feeling disconnected from my lower body. As I settled in, those early parts resurfaced: the angry, irritated part reacting to recent miscommunications with a colleague, and an inner critic bringing along some subtle shame and confusion. I spent time validating the angry part, allowing it space to express its frustration; it appreciated being felt without being sidestepped or dissociated from. From there, my system started shifting toward a problem-solving part that wanted to immediately strategize, draft some communications, and fix logistical issues around some of my upcoming life plans.
Unpacking the Strategy and Finding the Fixer
As the session progressed, I turned my curiosity toward this proactive, problem-solving part. Somatically, it was tied back into my head, shoulders, arms, and gut—acting as a hands-on fixer that uses physical and mental energy to manipulate situations and restore order. When I inquired about its role, it shared that its purpose is protection and repair, traceably connected to childhood experiences of chaos. This part also expressed how it hated surprises or shock and works urgently to create peace, clarity, organization, and safety. While it enjoys feeling successful at resolving issues, it admitted that it grows tired of the high urgency around its role and is open to stepping back if something like Self-energy were to step in to address my underlying exiles’ needs for calm, stability, and safety.
Wrapping Up and Bringing My System Together
What initially felt like separate, scattered issues—with anger at colleagues, logistics, and inner criticism—ultimately converged into a unified cluster centered on safety, clarity, and communication. As I prepared to close the session, these parts expressed a collective desire to not lose the momentum of their nascent insights and needs. They asked for ongoing care, attention, and follow-through, to which I agreed. We wrapped up the session with a mutual sense of relief, connection, and gratitude across my system, committing to continued digestion of the experience while moving forward with care.
These posts are personal reflections on my own n=1 experiment with IFS and somatic inquiry. They are shared for educational purposes and are not intended as medical or psychological advice.