Connecting with My Nostalgic and Anxious Parts.
During a recent self-IFS session, the community lunch bell triggered a strong sense of nostalgia and homesickness. Scanning my body, I noticed several distinct parts present: an anxious, neurotic energy stirring in my chest and gut, a nostalgic part that caused weakness in my knees, and protective parts including my inner critic and a “John Wayne” tough guy part. Rather than stepping in with heavy-handed critique, my inner critic offered an apology for past knee-jerk reactions and chose to relax nearby. Meanwhile, my tough guy part—which had previously pushed me to just get over the nostalgic longing—felt deflated and softened, allowing space to acknowledge my exiles’ quiet desires for soothing, comfort, attunement, and safety.
Exploring the Risk of Returning Home
As the session unfolded, I brought these parts together to explore the tension around where I belong. We navigated the conflicting impulses between returning to my old neighborhood or pursuing an outlandish path like applying for a job in Norway. My protectors voiced deep concerns about looking unstable or stumbling around at this stage in life, while my exiles held a bold desire to simply explore. A key shift occurred when we discussed the idea of full ownership—allowing myself to simply exist in a place for some “subterranean reason” without needing to explain or justify my choices to anyone else.
Finding Validation and Inner Alignment
By the end of our time together, my inner dynamic shifted toward greater harmony. My nostalgic part felt truly validated after having its homesickness taken seriously, expressing a simple longing for cozy comfort with loved ones. My anxious part appreciated having a seat at the table and being witnessed, sharing that it was nurtured into anxiety rather than born with it. Even my tough guy part and inner critic began to step back from toxic patterns, expressing a desire to transform into supportive cheerleaders rather than harsh judges. We closed the session with mutual thank yous and a shared sense of clarity, connection, and self-compassion.
These posts are personal reflections on my own n=1 experiment with IFS and somatic inquiry. They are shared for educational purposes and are not intended as medical or psychological advice.