Exploring Body Wisdom and My Head’s Hesitations.
In today’s self-session, I started by tuning directly into my physical body in which I sensed a tightness in the back of my head and neck. I explored the idea of letting my body take the lead and make decisions for a while, but my analytical head parts quickly felt scared and skeptical about that shift, worrying I might become lazy or slow at my work. As I sat with this, the mental effort of comparing trade-offs and considering right and wrong began to register as physical weight and aching in my shoulders and neck. My IFS manager part felt a bit lost, but I focused on welcoming my tired, analytical parts and letting them know they were welcome and, if they wanted, allowed to rest.
Unpacking My Social Justice Part
Moving deeper into the session, I spent time with a social justice part that feels a strong impulse to help people and fight oppression. As we talked, this part revealed that it feels overwhelmed by the state of the world and shared that its roots go back to childhood experiences of unfairness. It expressed that it would feel much better focusing on a smaller target, keeping things simple, and choosing its battles carefully. Meanwhile, my body offered a much simpler perspective on helping: just being present, creating real relationships, and simply asking people if they want help rather than assuming it and having an agenda.
Integrating and Letting the Body Lead
Toward the end of the session, my manager part questioned what we had actually accomplished, but my other parts stepped in to appreciate the quiet connection we had made. My nervous system appreciated the peacefulness, and I felt a shared desire across my parts to practice self-energy—staying calm and connected even amidst chaos. We wrapped up with my head parts agreeing to try letting my body lead more, though they acknowledged it will take time to break old habits and decommission their usual control. I closed the session with a feeling of gratitude from my system, even as my knees felt weak and a slight tension remained in my face. I’ll have to explore these sensations another time.
These posts are personal reflections on my own n=1 experiment with IFS and somatic inquiry. They are shared for educational purposes and are not intended as medical or psychological advice.