Meeting My Parts.
In my recent self-session, I started by sitting down to explore a conflict that arose after a tense interaction with my housemate. My inner critic had been berating me for 24 hours, calling me cruel for deflecting her worries about the future. Alongside this critical voice, I felt a familiar worrying part that mirrors my housemate’s anxiety about what lies ahead, as well as a juggling part that tries to manage the many tasks of my life. Sitting with these protectors allowed me to notice where they were holding tension in my body—my shoulders, the back of my neck, and a sudden tightness in my hip. After giving space to my critic and worrying parts they allowed me to go deeper to check-in for an exile.
Holding the Pain of Disappointment
I encountered a young part curled up in a corner, experiencing a physical sensation akin to an excruciating gut-punch. This exile was carrying a heavy burden of isolation and deep-seated disappointment—not just from recent events, but from a lifetime of feeling unacknowledged as a highly sensitive person. Rather than trying to fix this exile, I simply sat on the floor next to him and offered physical comfort, holding him according to his instruction: with firm pressure. This experience of connection with this little guy allowed a lifetime of unexpressed lament and grief to surface, giving voice to the frustration of waiting decades to finally have my sensitivity welcomed and celebrated.
IPF and Coming Together
To close this session, I self-led the ideal parent figure protocol (IPF) to offer a corrective to this young part with the attuned connection, soothing, and delight he so painfully needed as a child. My body responded with shock to this somatic intervention with sudden jolts, involuntary jerks, and physical releases; from my understanding a sign that my body was processing new and shockingly positive beliefs. My protectors shifted from their vigilant roles into appreciative observers, feeling honored to witness the process. By the end of the session, my entire system settled into a calm state, impressing on me how every single part—the critic, the worry, the grief, and the sensitivity—belong and are all a welcomed part of my system/inner-family.