A Morning of Mixed Signals.
A recent inner session began with physical sensations—a lingering cough and a slight headache—accompanied by a part holding shame around still being sick. I also noticed a protective need for privacy, prompting me to close my door to prevent anyone from interrupting or seeing me talking to myself. As I settled in, I focused on a part upset about time it felt I wasted in a recent political disagreement. Reflecting on that irritation helped me see how it mirrored a rigid, focused version of myself from decades ago, ultimately leading back to a hurting younger part of me.
Meeting Superhero “Shame-Based”
Moving deeper, I encountered a surprisingly bold part that proclaimed its name as “Shame-Based”. Instead of carrying remorse, this part appeared as an eight- or nine-year-old boy in a superhero suit, confidently standing with hands on his hips to claim his territory. He showed me how pervasive his influence has been—shaping what I feel allowed to do, how I defend myself, and how I dream. Working through physical sensations like a headache and tension in my neck, I watched as heavy-handed protector parts agreed to lay down their rigid, draconian rules. Eventually, they chose to compost those old paradigms in favor of learning roles that foster clearer communications and self-compassion.
Unburdening and Returning to Self
Toward the end of the session, a 33-year-old part asked not to be shamed for the strict conditioning it adopted just to survive childhood. Acknowledging that these protective roles were forced on me by cultural and environmental norms allowed my parts to relax. “Shame-Based” felt recognized and ready to step back, paving the way for my core qualities of creativity, curiosity, and confidence to take center stage. My session concluded with a shift in my internal landscape: my protectors relaxed, my exiles felt safe, and I stayed present with a gentle physical ache in my gut as I prepared to transition into my day.
These posts are personal reflections on my own n=1 experiment with IFS and somatic inquiry. They are shared for educational purposes and are not intended as medical or psychological advice.