Beginning My Session.
I sat down to do some solo IFS work, initially tracking prominent physical sensations—a headache, tension around my neck and shoulders, and occasional weakness in my lower legs. As I continued, I noticed my headache as analytical parts calculating decisions about new communities I might live in, job applications, and global problems. I worked on letting my body lead, welcoming all sensations, and inviting a heavy shoulder part to take a seat outside of me. This part was carrying a substantial burden from heavy decisions, world news consumption, and hypervigilance.
Meeting an Exile and Unburdening
As we conversed, it eventually let me visit an exile connected to its hypervigilance—a young boy navigating a lonely, hypervigilant childhood where he realized he had to constantly and unconsciously monitor his family and surroundings in order to stay safe. I entered my old childhood house as my current adult self, listened to him and finally (after he asked me) explained what healthy families with attunement, safety, and care actually look like. He was shocked and then eager to leave his oppressive, black-and-white environment. He chose to come with me into my current life, asking to leave the old house, all the rules and limitations, and the related shame and hurt. He eventually chose to burn it all up.
Integrating My System
Following the unburdening, I revisited and thanked my protector parts—which had been carrying the shoulder pressure and analytical head tension—for all they’ve done for me. They felt my exile was getting more attention than they were, but they also admitted they were tired of their jobs and happy to let my body lead more. Rather than carrying their heavy burdens, they expressed interest in relaxing into other activities, like my shoulder part expressed an interest in helping discern the kinds of media and responsibilities I should partake in. My session ended with mutual gratitude, and as my exile was itching to go for a walk with me, we did.
These posts are personal reflections on my own n=1 experiment with IFS and somatic inquiry. They are shared for educational purposes and are not intended as medical or psychological advice.