Beginnings.
During a recent IFS session, I first focused on several protectors, and I noted how much diligence and work they have done over the years, and how easy it can be to focus on exiles excited about newfound freedoms while missing the ongoing service and responsibilities of protectors. A familiar protector showed up around “getting things right,” including within my self-sessions themselves. As I checked with my body, I noticed sensations in my knees and shoulders being connected to this concern, and I spent some time simply acknowledging and welcoming them.
Addressing a Polarization Around Hope
My main focus became a polarization between two parts. One part naturally gets hopeful and excited when there is potential for a new connection or opportunity. Another part quickly responds, “Don’t get your hopes up,” hoping to guard-off disappointment. As I sat with these parts, it became clear that neither of them was the source of “the problem.” Each was operating automatically and trying to help in its own way. Following this dialogue led me to a young exile, a disappointed part that carries memories of unmet hopes and longings. I then welcomed all these diverse parts into the conversation.
Tempered Hope
After more discussion, there was a greater sense of cooperation and collaboration among these parts. My hopeful part remained comfortable with hope, while the protective part expressed interest in becoming less of a warning voice and more of a partner in what I might call “tempered hope.” The disappointed part felt acknowledged and appreciated for the attention it had received. I finished the session with clarity that my “hope” and “caution” parts are not that polarized. Both accepted each other’s place and belonging, especially with the awareness, support, and trust that I could hold the possibility of disappointment—while having tools to resolve it—without letting it define my future.
These posts are personal reflections on my own n=1 experiment with IFS and somatic inquiry. They are shared for educational purposes and are not intended as medical or psychological advice.