Visiting Hurt.
In yesterday’s self-IFS session, I self-conducted a Chi Nei Tsang abdominal massage—I learned this method years ago from a masseuse in Tucson. Working manually around my navel, I welcomed a part that expressed how much its whole childhood hurt, emphasizing that the primary issue was the raw pain rather than just a concept like shame. As I kneaded the tissue deeply in different areas of my abdomen, the sensation moved and shifted, accompanied by physical jolts and a slight headache. This part wanted me to understand the sheer pervasiveness of its pain, isolation, and the accumulated toll of being unacknowledged over so many years.
Meeting Dungeoned Parts and Unmet Needs
Moving deeper and centrally below my navel, I encountered a part that felt as though it had been forgotten in a dark, cold dungeon for decades while waiting for freedom. It expressed a deep sadness around why it took so long to be found, identifying with imagery of underground castle cells. Through my continued massage, this part brought awareness to its core violations and unmet needs, including the desire for acceptance, honoring, respect, recognition, and inclusiveness. I then gave these hurting parts an open platform to finally speak, be witnessed, and feel heard.
Integration, Gratitude, and Downshifting
Toward the end of the session, there was a shared sense of liberation and relief across many of these part’s emotions and experiences, along with a recognition that recovery will take time and patience. Some of my protector parts reflected on their roles, expressing a willingness to downshift, retire, or transition into honored remembered memories if their management was no longer required. I extended explicit thanks to these protectors for all they have done, while also tending to a few exiles that were feeling a little spacy and tentative about their newfound freedom. The session closed with a sense of internal alignment, head-bowing gratitude, and an expanded feeling in my shoulders as my whole system rested in mutual acceptance.
These posts are personal reflections on my own n=1 experiment with IFS and somatic inquiry. They are shared for educational purposes and are not intended as medical or psychological advice.