Embracing My System.
My partnered self-IFS session today began with a body scan where I noticed a headache and various tensions in my shoulders, back, and hips. As I settled in, I encountered an Overseer part—similar to a stage manager or orchestra composer—who manages my internal system to prevent things from falling into “chaos”. This part is currently observing my efforts to redefine what “having it together” looks like. I also noticed my inner critic lounging in a lazy-boy chair. After some dialogue, both these parts agreed to give me some space, allowing me to shift my focus toward a persistent ache in my right hip and a part that was deeply yearning for more connection.
Navigating Vulnerability and External Triggers
As my journey deepened, a part expressed a desire for a stronger dedication to Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and more authentic vulnerability. This part felt that I often interact with people through my protectors and believed that vocalizing more from my vulnerable parts would help them feel more welcomed. I also touched on a part that felt traumatized by a recent difficult encounter with a homeless person, leaving the part feeling like I had failed or lacked sufficient compassion. While some protectors expressed concern about being “taken advantage of” if I live too vulnerably, I worked on reassuring them and acknowledging the reciprocal nature of compassion. For example, when one person is compassionate to another person the other person wants to return the favor. Even as city noises outside my window triggered some irritation and sadness about human busy-ness and what feels like international chaos and war making, I persisted in inviting all my reactive parts to have a voice and a seat at the table.
Integration and Continued Commitment
Toward the end of my session, I spent some time with my nervous system who felt slightly daunted by the prospect of trying to redefine itself—like being more calm when it’s usually more nervous—but it ultimately appreciated my time with it. I reaffirmed to all my parts—the ones happy with my life and the ones feeling unsatisfied—that they are all welcomed. This process of welcoming caused some internal tightening, as many of my parts are still surprised or shocked but also awed to be invited into the conversation. I closed the session with a sense of “high fives” going around, thanking my parts for their presence, and them thanking me back. They were grateful for my visit and presence with them and appreciate how I am maintaining my commitment to them and my whole inner system through the lenses of IFS, NVC, and attachment theory.
These posts are personal reflections on my own n=1 experiment with IFS and somatic inquiry. They are shared for educational purposes and are not intended as medical or psychological advice.