Exploring Curiosity and the Critic.
In today’s self-IFS session, I spent time checking in with several parts. I noticed a curious part that wanted to clarify it wasn’t just being agreeable to people, or people pleasing, but truly seeking to understand things. Meanwhile, my inner critic felt a bit confused and humbled because it couldn’t find anyone to blame, ultimately choosing to rest in his lazy boy chair, and I spent some time next to him. I also reflected on a codependent part that has historically tried to keep me safe, even if it sometimes led to me underfunctioning. I also held space with a part that worried I might regress to old, insecure relationship patterns.
Meeting a Shy Exile
That worry brought me to a young, meek exile sitting near the living room of my old house. He felt anxious and afraid of being shamed in social situations. After taking a moment to sit with him, he shared that he didn’t need me to fix everything; he simply wanted an adult to believe in him, support him, and provide him with a sense of safety. He mentioned how much he loves the Ideal Parent Figure protocol for rewiring a sense of security, and though he felt safe where he was, he didn’t want to be left alone and so he asked if we could walk down to a nearby river together.
Releasing the Past
At the river, we worked together to see if he wanted to unburden anything from his history. He said it would be all the opposites of the Ideal Parent Figure protocol: the lack of safety, attunement, soothing, delight, support, and encouragement. We placed those old lacking experiences into a box and let it sink to the bottom of the river, making room for him to integrate the more positive experiences of the protocol, and courage, and confidence. My protectors looked on with appreciation as we wrapped up the session with a sense of team connection and gratitude across my system.
These posts are personal reflections on my own n=1 experiment with IFS and somatic inquiry. They are shared for educational purposes and are not intended as medical or psychological advice.